The Happiness Gap | Evidence above Ego

There’s this idea I’ve been turning over in my mind lately. This idea isn’t originally mine — it’s been explored in different ways by lots of thinkers and coaches — and it's referred to as The Happiness Gap. And once you see it, you start noticing it everywhere.

It’s simple at first glance: the gap between your expectations and your reality is where your happiness lives.

That space — the difference between what you thought would happen and what actually did — can be filled with joy and pride… or frustration and self-doubt. It all depends on how closely those two things match up.

This shows up everywhere in life, but it’s especially loud in running.

Maybe you head out for a 10k expecting to feel strong, to hit a pace you've managed before. But your legs are heavy, your breathing’s off, and the pace feels like a fight from the first kilometre. You glance at your watch and suddenly you’re not just tired — you’re disappointed. You start questioning your fitness, your training, maybe even your goals.

Why? Because your reality didn’t meet your expectation. The gap widened, and your happiness slipped straight through the cracks.

The tough part is, we often don’t even realise we’ve set those expectations. We absorb them from past performances, from Strava scrolls, from that one good day we’re trying to recreate. We compare ourselves not just to others, but to our idealised version of ourselves — the one who always runs strong, never fades, never skips a session.

And so, we fall short.

But what if we reworked the formula?

What if, instead of setting expectations on a whim — or based on someone else’s abilities — we took a more grounded approach?

Progress in running takes time. It’s not linear. You can train consistently for weeks and still have a rough day out. That doesn’t mean you’re failing — it means you’re human. If we want to feel fulfilled in our running, we have to start narrowing the happiness gap by adjusting one key thing: expectations.

That doesn’t mean lowering your standards. It means aligning them with where you actually are today. Set goals that stretch you, yes — but make sure they’re built on evidence, not ego. Track your data over time. Notice the trends. Let your expectations evolve slowly and honestly, alongside your reality.

And most of all — stop comparing yourself to someone else’s path. Your journey is yours alone. Every run, fast or slow, contributes to the bigger picture.

So next time you lace up, ask yourself: What am I expecting from this run? And more importantly, why?

If you can learn to close that gap — even just a little — you’ll find a deeper kind of satisfaction in your training. One that isn’t based on pace, or PBs, or shiny medals. One that’s rooted in presence, patience, and pride in the process.

P.S. At Prerun, we’re all about helping runners find joy in the journey — not just the result. If you’re looking for support with your performance, energy, and consistency, take a look at what we’ve been building: prerun.co.uk

Let’s run happy — in the gap.

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